I am ..........

I'm definitely disappointed that I couldn't be one of the representatives of my province to NSDC 2011.
For God Sake, I'm TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED to know that I've been beaten by "1-2 minute only arguments" debaters. *Really, not to skeptic at them, but yes, they're talking for only 1-2 minutes, or at least 6 minutes only, not 8 minutes*
I never blame the chief adjudicator - Not At All, there's nothing wrong with him.
I blame the newest system that used this year.
I blame the tourney system that doesn't really appropriate to be used in that provincial selection.
I blame the silly match-up.
I blame the local adjudicators who DON'T KNOW HOW TO ADJUDICATE A DEBATE.
I'm disappointed that our city team could only win the first champion, but there's only one speaker from our team that could represent my province to NSDC next year.

I'm lost.
I'm failed.
I'm trauma.
I'm ashamed.
I'm speechless.
I'm disappointed.

But I won't let myself to stop debate at all.
I've been debating for about a year.
I won't stop my debating career for those reasons only.
But at least for now, I really need a time to recover from my disappointment.