Saturday, 27 November 2010

Have you....?


Have you ever been in the hardest part of your life?

The time when everything’s nothing but ruin, chaos, and trouble?

The time when a thing you need is dream?

The time when you don’t wanna wake up,

Because you believe that nightmare is just a nightmare and that shouldn’t be true at all.

But then you realized something, you realized that It’s true. It’s not a nightmare, it’s a truth.

Truth that you’ve to face It with wide arms open.

A hurtful truth and you’ve to accept It.

Time ticking still….

And your life goes on…

With a hurt scar in your life…

A scar that left by the truth…

Have you ever been in the sickest point of your life?

The time when all you wanna do is forgetting thing

The time when you’ve to throw away a dreadful memory

The time when you’re ready to face a new “life”, with your past left away

But then you realize something,

You realize that people around you keep talking about that truth.

People around you keep on talking, and talking about one thing.

Thing that you really need to left,

Thing that you really need to throw away,

Thing that you really need to forget about,

And then you’re getting sick enough to hear that thing.

And then you’re getting sick to hear everything.

And then you’re wondering if you could die for a moment.

At least until people stop talking about thing that might be joyful for them.

But hurtful, dreadful, pitiful, and sorrowful for me.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

I am ..........


I'm definitely disappointed that I couldn't be one of the representatives of my province to NSDC 2011.
For God Sake, I'm TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED to know that I've been beaten by "1-2 minute only arguments" debaters. *Really, not to skeptic at them, but yes, they're talking for only 1-2 minutes, or at least 6 minutes only, not 8 minutes*
I never blame the chief adjudicator - Not At All, there's nothing wrong with him.
I blame the newest system that used this year.
I blame the tourney system that doesn't really appropriate to be used in that provincial selection.
I blame the silly match-up.
I blame the local adjudicators who DON'T KNOW HOW TO ADJUDICATE A DEBATE.
I'm disappointed that our city team could only win the first champion, but there's only one speaker from our team that could represent my province to NSDC next year.

I'm lost.
I'm failed.
I'm trauma.
I'm ashamed.
I'm speechless.
I'm disappointed.

But I won't let myself to stop debate at all.
I've been debating for about a year.
I won't stop my debating career for those reasons only.
But at least for now, I really need a time to recover from my disappointment.
 

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