Have you....?

Have you ever been in the hardest part of your life?

The time when everything’s nothing but ruin, chaos, and trouble?

The time when a thing you need is dream?

The time when you don’t wanna wake up,

Because you believe that nightmare is just a nightmare and that shouldn’t be true at all.

But then you realized something, you realized that It’s true. It’s not a nightmare, it’s a truth.

Truth that you’ve to face It with wide arms open.

A hurtful truth and you’ve to accept It.

Time ticking still….

And your life goes on…

With a hurt scar in your life…

A scar that left by the truth…

Have you ever been in the sickest point of your life?

The time when all you wanna do is forgetting thing

The time when you’ve to throw away a dreadful memory

The time when you’re ready to face a new “life”, with your past left away

But then you realize something,

You realize that people around you keep talking about that truth.

People around you keep on talking, and talking about one thing.

Thing that you really need to left,

Thing that you really need to throw away,

Thing that you really need to forget about,

And then you’re getting sick enough to hear that thing.

And then you’re getting sick to hear everything.

And then you’re wondering if you could die for a moment.

At least until people stop talking about thing that might be joyful for them.

But hurtful, dreadful, pitiful, and sorrowful for me.

I am ..........

I'm definitely disappointed that I couldn't be one of the representatives of my province to NSDC 2011.
For God Sake, I'm TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED to know that I've been beaten by "1-2 minute only arguments" debaters. *Really, not to skeptic at them, but yes, they're talking for only 1-2 minutes, or at least 6 minutes only, not 8 minutes*
I never blame the chief adjudicator - Not At All, there's nothing wrong with him.
I blame the newest system that used this year.
I blame the tourney system that doesn't really appropriate to be used in that provincial selection.
I blame the silly match-up.
I blame the local adjudicators who DON'T KNOW HOW TO ADJUDICATE A DEBATE.
I'm disappointed that our city team could only win the first champion, but there's only one speaker from our team that could represent my province to NSDC next year.

I'm lost.
I'm failed.
I'm trauma.
I'm ashamed.
I'm speechless.
I'm disappointed.

But I won't let myself to stop debate at all.
I've been debating for about a year.
I won't stop my debating career for those reasons only.
But at least for now, I really need a time to recover from my disappointment.

Happy Bday Daddy

So today is my daddy's birthday.

Thank you for everything you've done for us.

I wish you all the best as always in every of my prayers.

Parabens! Feliz Aniversário, meu pai querido. Deus te abençoe! :)

Talk A Lot Tuesday

It needs a long time for me to post another entry here.
The same problem again and again,
I don't know what am I supposed to type.

It's October already, and I'm sixteen y.o. now.
But I don't know what the heck is going on with me recently,
I mean, I've faced a lotta experiences during this year,
and I've realized that my English is getting worse throughout this year. (esp. my structure)
I HAVE TO re-learn, and learn more, or It's going to be one of my barrier to face NSDC selection (school selection first) soon this year.
Btw, talking about NSDC, We've been faced a lot of amount of school level selection from our debating coach (which is also one of the most dedicated, and the most successful alumni of our debating society)
The next level of selection, which is the City selection, is going to be held next month. (not yet confirmed) and I'm so excited for It!
But first of all I've to compete against seven of my friends (my debating family indeed) to choose 3 or 4 of Us which is going to be our school representatives for city selection.
I've tried my best, I've been preparing for this all - to have a chance to be one of our school representatives for NSDC. Though in the end, God decides what's going to be the best for me.

Talking about our debating society, We've got the newcomers of our debating society!
They've faced a lot of selection for about 3 months to be a part of Us.
We've chosen 11 juniors (soon to be 12, because of some reasons) and They're going to have their very first training ASAP. I'm also excited about this!

And btw, I've been waiting for my David Archuleta's newest album - The Other Side of Down album to be arrived at my home soon. I desperately can't wait to hear the album!!!

Hey, It looks like I've talked to much on this post, and that's quite unpredictable, because at first I only planned to type a "short-kind" post.
So, sayonara!

SoTD: Sophie Ellis-Bextor's albums all nite long - woot woot!

Hello HRC, Goodbye Ducati, Good luck Stoner!

Okay, so tonight I read this shocking news,

Casey Stoner will leave Ducati for HRC at the end of motoGP 2010 season.

And I spontaneously shock now, this is terrible news for me, I mean... Hey I've already got a damn mind-set that Stoner belongs to Ducati, Stoner without Ducati means nothing, or Ducati without Stoner means nothing. I desperately couldn't imagine what is going to happen with Ducati, Stoner and even HRC in 2011 - on the next season of motoGP forward.

This is terribly shocking, I'm definitely speechless, but I've to accept this info, I've to agree with Stoner's decision to leave Ducati for HRC, because It's useless to mumbling about this news, because a decisio had been taken, He will definitely leave Ducati, He will fight for different team next season.

I'm not blaming him for his decision, but somehow I feel kinda doubt about his decision. It's just like the same feeling that I got when Kaka finally decided to leave AC Milan and join Real Madrid.
However, good luck for him, may the new team would give him a new chance to get motoGP World Championship again next year, amen.

SoTD: Lemme play some Beatles now - Let It Be, Hello Goodbye, or Yesterday would be nice though, anything slow for tonight, anything "blue" for tonight, sheesh. Dayum, definitely.

Keep on gambling, don't stop.

Hey guys,
It's been a long time I haven't written a post almost the last two months here.
The wait is over guys, final examinations have been done today.
It was a very hard week for me.
I had to stay awake until midnite almost everyday to study.
Though I have already studied hard for this weekend, but you know that It wasn't enough at all.
Because some of the questions on the test were kinda hard.
I had already tried to do It by myself, but I can't.
Or asking my friends about the answer, but They didn't know.

So guess what did I do next? Cheating? Trying to find the answer on study book? - NO, You're wrong.

The right answer is this:

-I Gambled-

No, no We're not talking about the new generation of Apple gadgets.
By gamble here, I mean that I'm looking the options of every questions, then I choose the one which I think that I'd be appropriate as the answer, or It have some similarity with the questions randomly. HA! I know by doing that, my possibility to have good score will be decreased, but just like most of teachers ever said that, It's better to answer the questions randomly rather than letting your answer sheet clear, without any answers.
Now, I'm looking forward for any possibility of remedies during class meeting next Monday, wish me luck guys! So I won't get too many remedies for this semester tests!

N.B. : By the way, happy belated birthday for two of my classmates Anes, and Lesia! Wishing both of you all the best forward! GBU sweeties! :)

SoTD: David Archuleta - Running

The first word that come into my mind tonight is...

The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie awake and miss you..

just another random thought.

We used to be annoyed with problem that come through our life.
But in some cases, I don't think that some of problem that come through our life is 'problem'.
That's just a God way to makes us learn, to make our life's always busy,
because I do believe that because God knows that we just life once, and that's why
He don't wanna let every of us will miss every little thing with emptiness only. :)
and by giving you a problem means that God do love you, not hate you.

one of the insanity of insane

today's insane.
well, actually today's not that insane as I told .
today's crazy-insane-mad or however you can say It.

this is my first day I went to school again, after two days break of ill.
and today is also our teacher guide - wali kelas birthday.
and my class mates have a plan to make our teacher getting bother of us today,
so when She came to our class this afternoon, we neglected her.
some of us were talking as loud and as much as they can so It made the class so crowded.
some of us were singing loudly and continuously,
okay, I bet y'all know what's going on then..
She became angry, and went out of our class to teachers room.

and then we realized that these jokes becomes kinda serious now,
and we asked some of our fellas to go to the teachers room and to "apologize".
so they come to the teachers room, asked her to forgive us.
guess what? they asked her while they're playing their phone like they were kidding each other.
and that's make her become more angry..

finally, we came on to that room, bring a birthday cake with some candles atop of It and singing "Happy Birthday" to her.
She was shocked and speechless, yeah really..
But then She just smiled again and again.
haha, that was another crazy thing we've done so far.
and the next thing will be so much more interesting forward. :)

SOTD : Owl City - The Bird and The Worm.